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7/29/99 NEW YORK -- While limited skirmishes continue to reported along the border zone, a unilateral cease-fire has been declared in the war over whether or not a student should have received points for question #5 on the third Host Defenses quiz.
Even as faculty members deny the existence of any war, students who got question #5 marked wrong are arming themselves with vehement and largely ambiguous complaints about the curriculum and professors in general, with no suggestions for improvement in sight.
As negotiations wore on between faculty member Dr. Falcone and the militant leader of the student rebel group, Falcone appeared visibly annoyed. "Look, sit down so I can give the damn lecture for today already," he reportedly said as talks nearly broke down on the third day of talks.
"But are we going to get credit for question #5?" the rebel leader repeatedly asked over and over.
Just one week earlier, faculty members caved in to the incessant demands of a terrorist organization led by an ultra-militant medical student who claimed, "I needed those extra five points on the quiz to get matched into a good orthopedic surgery residency." Ironically, the terrorists have been rumored to disapprove of the current skirmishes, purportedly because they got question #5 correct.